Flip of the Tongue, 2010

It's been a while since I offered up some of the funny things I've seen in informal writing or heard people say . Here are the best ones from the past year:

Septic pencil instead of styptic pencil. Ouch! I got 216 results when I Googled this phrase, including: "How to prevent a scar -- A septic pencil is useful for this" and "The septic pencil will sting a little."

"It ran through the office like wild flower." An almost poetic image.

On NPR (I think it was actually on the BBC show The World), a U.S. military official was describing how the forward operating bases used in Afghanistan keep American troops too isolated from the Afghan people. He described the bases as "hermetically locked little seals."

"Don't cut off both ends of the candle." An excellent combination of cutting off your nose to spite your face with burning the candle at both ends.

"It never seizes to amaze me..." (from a comment on a friend's Facebook status)

"We've got to vamp up the technology." Ooo la la, computers!

A blog commenter, trying to say that another commenter is biased: "Your perspective is somewhat skewered as well." Holy shish kabob, Batman.

"Now you're going to leave me and run off like a hot potato." One of the funniest mental images of all time.

Another blog comment: "The Supreme Court lobbied another bomb against the citizens of America..." Wrong, wrong, wrong... the Court never lobbies anyone.

"I'm going to keep my dander dry." Um, yeah. You do that. There's probably a product to treat it, though.

"We've got to sweeten the pie." Nothing really wrong with this one, except the pie is probably already sweet, while the pot may need to be sweetened.

"Just so we're all on the same plane..." Same page, same plain... but where did the plane come from?

"My favorite Michelangelo sculpture is The Piñata." I can't remember where I got this, but I think it saw it in written form.

Another Facebook comment: "I'm looking forward to dawning my old jersey."

"We've got to be aware of the pratfalls along the way." Much more fun than watching out for the pitfalls.

"The kids are going to create a marshmallow canon." Is that a list of the most influential books about s'mores, Fluffernutter and Rice Krispie bars?

"...it's another example of the state going hells bells for leather in wanting to control something..." (from a story on MPR about charter schools). A nice triple mashup of going hell for leather, hell-bent, and hell's bells.

Past Flips of the Tongue:

December 2007
January 2008
March 2008
June 2008
December 2008