A Bit Irksome, But Also Validating

I don't write often enough about sexism, which has shaped my life. Today I saw a thread, thanks to trans people talking on BlueSky, so it gives me words for something I've always known.

having the lived experience of both a man and a woman, it really is baffling to see the stark difference in how WEIRD men are to women compared to other men. i’m still not used to it.
@emilyonhere.gay

There were many responses, but one was from a person who asked for elaboration on it. Another person responded with this:

1.) Many men make a decision upon meeting a woman (whether or not they'd fuck her) and if the answer is "no" they don't feel like even basic respect is necessary
2.) Immediate assumption that we know absolutely nothing about anything and if we show otherwise they try to quiz her to see if she's lying
3.) Constantly assume that anything we're doing is for their attention
4.) Speak over women all the fuckin time because they don't give a single fuck what we're saying
5.) Sexualizing absolutely goddamn everything, but if we make a sexual joke we're asking to be hit on flagrantly
I'm non-binary but still very largely treated "like a woman." I love many men! Some of you guys are great! But I've literally never met a man who didn't have at least some fuckin wild ideas about women that needed to be quashed
@dirtsquirrel.bsky.social

Gillian Branstetter, whom I quote frequently in my BlueSky round-ups, replied with this:

Easily the first thing I noticed was the vanishing of my personal space.

I learned from the thread that there are several books written by people who have transitioned and become recognized as men (or in one case, by a woman who passed as a man intentionally) who describe the differences in how they are treated.

And I imagine the inverse is true. I have heard that from trans women I know who, like Gillian, have to deal with the loss of personal space and the new experience of being talked over or not taken seriously, as dirtsquirrel describes.

In some ways it's irksome to need to have the things you've known said by [formerly] privileged people, but I mostly find it validating.