Take My Coins, Please

I apologize in advance for polluting your eyes, but this ad from Parade magazine has been lying on my table for a few weeks so I need to post it to prove it existed before I recycle it.

I think it ran several weeks after January 6. Though of course, given Parade's production deadlines, it would have been created before the insurrection. But after the November election and the Big Lie, for sure.

Here's what's going on in the ad. 

First, the copy. The headline reads, "MAGA Movement Commemorative Coin Set." Then there are 12 full color images of coins, plus the backs of the coins. This is the copy below the images:

From visionary economic initiatives, to his strong stances and decisive actions to protect our nation against harm, President Trump has proven that his commitment to putting America first was just what our nation needed. As President, he has shown little patience for the "status quo" that has crippled Washington politics for decades and has taken the bold steps necessary to put America back on top as the most respected nation in the world.

Which is, to put it kindly, a big bunch of suck-up to the world view of the intended audience.

The images on the coins commemorate 12 of Trump's achievements. They chose:

1. Borders (Trump with his fist raised in front of some kind of wall), 
2. 2nd Amendment (Trump with what appears to be a musket), 
3. Tax cuts (Trump signing the billionaire tax cut),
4. Veterans (Trump saluting while wearing a billed, military-style hat of some type), 
5. America's economy (Trump giving a thumbs up), 
6. Health care (Trump looking self-satisfied in front of an operating-room team), 
7. Law enforcement (Trump waving in front of a rank uniformed cops), 
8. Government (Trump clapping), 
9. Military (Trump looking from the side with marching color guard behind), 
10. The Constitution (Trump looking stern with the Capitol in the background), 
11. American energy (Trump doing that dumb fist thing he does), 
12. Fair trade (Trump with some papers).
    

Oh, and flags. Lots and lots of flags in the backgrounds. 

While of course I think none of those can be considered an achievement of the Trump administration because I disagree with his policy approach (if you can call it a policy approach), some of them are extra-hilarious. 

• Health care? From the administration that kept promising a plan and never released one and then killed 400,000+ people through its incompetence in handling the pandemic? 
• Government? The administration that couldn't keep anyone in leadership and ended up with illegal, acting cabinet members, destroying multiple agencies and departments? 
• The Constitution? Which he violated from day one in the emoluments clause, and with the Capitol building that was just invaded by his followers at his instigation in the background?
  

On the inverse of all the coins is this terrible, but fairly accurate, silhouette:

 

In classic Trumpian fashion, the payment portion of the ad claims that the set — "layered entirely in 24K gold" — is a $449.00 value, but can be yours for just $99.00 in five easy payments of $19.80.

Plus a free — FREE! — presidential wristwatch, value $49.95!

Those prices don't make any sense at all, do they? A business selling at these fire-sale prices would barely be able to afford the materials and shipping cost of these products for the net price of all these values, let alone pay for the production labor and a profit.

Hmm.

I wonder how many will sell to the Parade audience. Maybe they will make it up in volume (ha).