Alfie Kohn on Fame

This blog post by education thinker Alfie Kohn, titled Fame Is the Name of the Game: A Meditation on Why So Many People Dream of Being (or Even Just Meeting) Celebrities, starts out as a big subtweet of Mafia Mulligan, which is pretty great:

18-year-olds with a very strong desire to be wealthy were likely to have parents who were not very nurturing. When parents are “cold and controlling...their children apparently focus on attaining security and a sense of worth through external sources.”

The trouble is that even in the unlikely event one attains great wealth or celebrity status, it’s unlikely to provide meaningful satisfaction. Being valued for these distinctions just accentuates the emptiness, insecurity, or self-doubt that pushed one to achieve them. Unhappiness is both the cause and the effect.... Yet judging by what they are willing to sacrifice in time, effort, and dignity to get on a reality TV show.... some people want to be famous (whether or not it makes them rich) with an intensity that is both poignant and psychologically fascinating.

But it goes on from that, and there's something in this post to make just about everyone uncomfortable, even me. 

I think I can honestly say I don't want to be famous or rich. I know I don't like being recognized when I've done something positive somewhere. I've written before about not liking (and not wanting to use) the word proud about what my kid accomplishes, or even what I personally help accomplish. 

I know I have trouble dealing with celebrities and authority figures as people because their status interferes with my ability to just talk to them (which I sometimes have enough trouble with as I deal with everyday people under typical circumstances), so I don't think I'm extra-drawn to celebrities, either.

But when Kohn got to the part about social media, well. Hmm. I can't say I don't use social media (especially Twitter) as a way to eavesdrop on people I admire, and therefore associate myself with them in a way. He's got me there. But I'm not stalking them and I don't expect to have a relationship with any of them... there's only one of each of them and many people who are like me. I am the audience, and I know it. I'm just listening to them talk and occasionally asking a question.