Shutdown the October Tweets

Here's what Twitter had to say about the government shutdown, Columbus Day, healthcare.gov, and the Nobel prizes -- plus all my usual topics like education, public transit, and climate change.

A person who commutes an hour has to make 40% more money to be as satisfied as a person who lives near the office.
By The Enabling City

On this anniversary of Hurricane Sandy, I will take a moment to tell my electricity and my hot water how much I love them.
By Frank Conniff

Denial of a problem, or freaking out that a problem exists, is not good strategy.
By Jonathan Foley

Doctors are good at this. When they see indications of illness, they don't deny it, or freak out, they get to work on making you healthy.
By Jonathan Foley

In responding to any great challenge to society, we need to find the path between reckless denial and alarmism, and get to work on solutions.
By Jonathan Foley

"Black people know what white people mean when they say 'law and order.'" — Fannie Lou Hamer
By Henry Louis Gates Jr

It’s not so much a “women in tech” problem as it is a “toxic masculinities in tech” problem, which is an odd thing to expect women to fix.
By Coda Hale

The more things change, the more they stay the same:

By southpaw

I wonder if the UPS guy gets tired of hipsters trying to order grilled cheese sandwiches from him every time he parks his truck downtown.
By Adam Isacson

What do we see in the best school systems in the world? "A focus on equity."
By AJC Project

Your bumper sticker says PEACE, but your tailpipe belches WAR.
By Free Public Transit

We make it seem more difficult than it actually is. It's as simple as realizing that children need to be given control over their learning.
By Nikhil Goyal

We get so caught up with trying to prove or measure learning that we forget that learning should be engaged in for its own sake.
By Nikhil Goyal

You aren’t going to read it. Close the tab.
By Ryan Freitas

Need to find a pocket of poverty in the US? Check the schools. Schools are indicators, not instigators.
By Rebecca Dovi

The same people hustling "launching early & failing fast" are trashing healthcare.gov. Gives you an idea of how hollow the phrase is.
By Fred Benenson

There have been a lot of great trends in restaurants over the years; the evolution of croutons is not one of them.
By Justin Amash

It would be awesome if Popular Mechanics was just a magazine that featured really well-liked mechanics with a lot of friends.
By Meowrey

Wow. In lab meeting today, back of envelope calculation says US cattle poop about an Empire State Building worth of manure every *2 hours*.
By Jonathan Foley

Little known fact: The game of Risk is a project of the Kamchatka Awareness and Tourism Board.
By Chris Steller

Most medieval castles were made of wood. We think most were made of stone because of survivor bias.
By Stat Fact

Based on comments from winning players, it's remarkable how much time God spends to help athletes defeat their opponents.
By Neil deGrasse Tyson

Nobody seems to have a problem with asking "why don't you have/want kids?" but it would be rude to ask "why did you have/want kids?"
By Anna Debenham

Dude, hotels, listen up: everyone wants an easy outlet next to the bed to charge their phone. Nobody doesn’t want that. Stop not having it.
By Catherynne Valente

In Scotland, free healthcare AND free education. A healthy, educated people equals prosperity!
By Bluebird

“Can you believe the salary these BART guys get to drive a train?” —someone whose job is making internet ads more clickable.
By Jim Ray

Guys. We are all "aware" of breast cancer. Stop buying pink nail polish and donate that $10 to an accredited research facility.
By Bethany Grow

Govt #shutdown cost $24B. Tuition-free public higher ed would only cost $12.4B
By StrikeDebt

The US believes: everyone has the right to be special. Europe holds: being ordinary should be OK for everyone.
By Alain de Botton

Both my book and my cigarette are running out of battery. Stupid future.
By Jim Groome

"Hm. I love being bored and injured. I just wish it was also expensive and cold." — the invention of skiing
By Julieanne Smolinski

I can't believe my baby is slower moving than Congress. Damn, that was a hard bet to lose.
By Maggie Koerth-Baker


Finally, the ants are going to rise up and claim their rightful place as masters of this wretched planet.
By Markus J

Son, on Portland: “It’s like San Francisco and Minneapolis had a baby.”
By David Brauer

I don’t think Boehner is herding cats. Cats have goals and purpose.
By Annie-Rose Strasser

Also in reference to the shutdown:

On a related note, Marie-Antoinette was guillotined on this day in 1793.
By Leo Thomas McGarry

What the hell does “follow your passion” even mean as advice? Following your passion is the leading cause of teen pregnancy after hot tubs.
By Paul Ford

Guy said he won't go on healthcare.gov because he "refuses to give the government his social security number". #dumbanddumber
By DCrais

The people responsible for invading Iraq are livid that the Affordable Care Act website has had some problems.
By Greg Knauss

Went to the grocery store for spices but ended up at a stranger's house. Anyway I murdered him and moved in. Happy Columbus Day!
By Kevin Farzad

Greenwald + eBay = GreenBay
By Chris Steller

What would be really, really great right now would be if lawyers would get out of the way and give humans a chance to sort out their shit.
By Kate Clancy

Remember on this Columbus Day that when discovering Puerto Rico, Columbus named the island San Juan and when discovering San Juan he...
By Joel Ross Housman

...named it Rich Port and due to poor labeling on the map when returning to Europe, a confused scribe reversed the names. Oops.
By Joel Ross Housman

Imagine if we told adults that after their regular job, they would be forced to do extra work for a few more hours.
By Nikhil Goyal

I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
By Julian Kiani

Amazing how much easier it seems to be to shut down the Federal Government than Guantanamo.
By Hari Kunzru

Maybe if the History Channel showed history instead of pawn shops and alligators fewer people would carry Confederate flags.
By pourmecoffee

Or... the day before? RT @paulwiggins: The day I give up beer is the day you can use the word penultimate in copy.
By Chris Steller

People who insist they should only have to pay for what they use are thereby requesting existence of massive bureaucracy.
By Free Public Transit

Two things Dems see as disadvantages that are actually boons: (1) no radical left billionaires spending campaign money (2) inept lefty grassroots.
By Josh Barro

Republicans have been done in by their free-spending ideological funders and their highly energized base. Best not to have all that.
By Josh Barro

Whites are 42% of the poor but get 69% of gov't benefits. Blacks are 22% of poor but get 14% of gov't benefit.
By dream hampton

There comes a time in everyone's life when "I can go to bed whenever I want because I'm a grownup" stops meaning 3 am and starts meaning 8:30 pm.
By Dana Contreras

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government is starting to sound better every minute.
By Swedish Canary

Did not kill him simply because he an asshole, rather that I feared that he a scout for an entire army of assholes.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Maybe Obama could give his Nobel Peace Prize to Malala. He doesn't seem to be doing much with his.
By Bruce LaBruce

Don't be seduced by compliant kids and a well-intentioned, articulate teacher: zero learning may have occurred.
By mpljr

"Tonite at 10: How the Shutdown is affecting trivial things while we ignore how it's impacting people who aren't worth giving a damn about."
By Bob Collins

Swing voters finally getting the message this month that congressional GOP is drunk and can't be trusted with heavy machinery.
By Josh Barro

One million pre-default dollars says there'll be Alice Munro crop art at the Minnesota State Fair next year.
By Chris Steller

Is there a sort of reverse Fresh Air Fund, which sends kids from suburbia and sprawl to big cities so they can learn culture & efficiency?
By Anil Dash

Smoke detectors are small devices for turning people who like to cook steak into libertarians.
By Pinboard

Schoolgirl fantasy: A teacher asks if I brought enough gum for the whole class. I whip out two FULL packs. Gum for everybody. I'm a hero!
By Julieanne Smolinski

Before asking people to grow a thicker skin, question whether you need to keep stabbing them.
By Adam Smith

Can we see if we can arrange a trade with the Vatican: the new pope for Scalia and three regressive know-it-all theocrats to be named later?
By lawremipsum

"...no matter what tests show, very little of what is taught in school is learned...and very little of what is remembered is used." —Holt
By Nikhil Goyal

I wanna see a Harry Potter spinoff about the burnouts of Hogwarts and all the crazy magic drugs they take.
By gabe steller

Reservoir Dog Parks #AddaWordRuinaMovie
By Chris Steller

We are miracle workers! If you can't get a homeless crack-addicted teen to do calc, what kind of teacher are you?
By Justin Aion

Shooting of depressed patient by unpaid Washington DC police was actually a demo of alternative to universal health coverage.
By Free Public Transit

Extracting blood from fossilized mosquitoes paved the way to Jurassic Park. #pangram
By Craig Eliason [From the excellent Daily Pangram site.]

Can we relabel "imposter syndrome" as "being alive and not a douchebag"?
By dansinker

A group of grade 4 boys lists the things they don't like about being a boy:


By Steph Guthrie

Decent public schooling OR well-compensated teachers is a shockingly false choice.
By Seth Pierson

Labels limit. Labels help the observer manage the observed. Labels tell YOU who you are and what your story is..but it is still a limit.
By mpljr

Overheard on Metro: "My parents worked SO hard to find jobs with health insurance. And it annoys me that now, like, anyone can get it."
By Lauren Williams

As my school continues to race to the top, more and more people (but not enough) are realizing that the ladder is against the wrong wall.
By mpljr

Magazine redesign idea: Make the type smaller for no reason.
By Chris Steller

I wasn't happy about the country being controlled by the richest 1 percent, but I really hate it being controlled by the dumbest 1 percent.
By Andy Borowitz

Oh so thaaaaaat's why Native Americans don't want their likenesses used as a cartoonish team logo:


By EireannMichaelDolan

You know, not-so-great minds also think alike. #Congress
By George Takei

Let's force every kid to play basketball and hockey so we can put together a great Olympic team. Who cares if they love football or tennis.
By mpljr

Shutdown? In Australia, failing to pass a budget means automatic dissolution of the house/senate with full reelections.
By Cory Foy

If Anonymous knew that offering all citizens health care could shut down the government, we would have adjusted our tactics.
By Anonymous Operations

People who feel safer with a gun than with guaranteed medical insurance don't yet have a fully adult concept of scary.
By William Gibson

Can I burn down your house? No. Just the 2nd floor? No. Garage? No. Let's talk about what I can burn down. No. YOU AREN'T COMPROMISING!
By Judd Legum

Now that Bill Nye has lost his job on Dancing With the Stars, I'm nervous he's going to start producing meth to support his family.
By waitwait

Shutdown should impact the SEC first, and result in a halt in trading markets. Instead, we stop WIC payments that provide food to kids.
By Anil Dash

Everytime a White GOP-er says "Obamacare is like slavery" I try to picture my ancestors going, "Man this is like healthcare!"
By Black Canseco

Why not rank colleges based on how many social workers they graduate rather than hedge fund managers?
By Ted Lieu

The perfect is the enemy of the good. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Therefore, I am perfect.
By Chris Steller