Tuesday, January 1, 2013

End-of-the-Year Tweets

Wrapping up 2012 while averting my eyes if not the Fiscal Cliff, here are some favorite tweets from the last month of the year.

Kerning could make 20B the worst year ever.
By Quinn Norton
(Hint: The joke works better in a font that doesn't use oldstyle numerals so that the B is the same height as the 20.)

What I want for New Years: a Democratic Party that acts like it won the last election.
By Markos Moulitsas 

"The Internet will put jobs in two categories: People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do.”
By chris dixon

Saw someone with t-shirt that said Truth + God = Life. I hope they realised it therefore follows Truth = Life - God. Do the maths, people!
By Dave Steele

Remember these secrets of success: Show up. Speak up. Team up. Don't give up. Lift others up. Then things will look up.
By Rosabeth Moss Kanter 

Even with 100 years of cheap oil, capitalism has been an inefficient disaster.
By Free Public Transit 

(After a series of tweets about whether the Civil War was necessary to end slavery.)
You can't even "talk" folks off beef. We're talking about owning a guy, and all the social power that comes with it.
By Ta-Nehisi Coates 

Dear naps, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you in kindergarten.
By Brian Gaar

"Comport" doesn't seem like it should be a word.
By Chris Steller 

Who better to illuminate the issue of middle-class tax cuts than Meet the Press's panel of millionaire beltway pundits?
By Frank Conniff  

If USA spent what other rich nations spend in health care as % of GDP, it would not have a budget deficit.
By Martin Varsavsky  

"The government reads your emails without a warrant." "Boring!" "Also, Instagram wants to use your pictures in ads." "Over my dead body!"
By Joel Grus

Don't get me wrong, skiing is great if you're really into bitter cold, uncomfortable footwear, and the threat of serious physical injury.
By Steven Johnson 

Do people say "obviously" because they think it's not obvious that the thing they're saying is obvious?
By Chris Steller 

In those days, Caesar Augustus decreed that all must return to the town of their birth, that they might sort out their parents' computers.
By Unvirtuous Abbey 

After Trayvon Martin was shot, I don't remember the NRA saying that every black teenager should go out and get a gun for protection...
By Ola Betiku

One day our children will post little condescending observations about us on social networks we don't understand.
By Jeff Atwood 

Maybe I am religious. To me, NBC's brutal editing of "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol" was a desecration of a scared shrine.
By Frank Conniff 

We're raising our kids Catholic so they'll be militant atheists.
By Jocelyn TestesHarder

Hmm, is a guy who quickly volunteers to stand in school with a gun...really a guy you want standing in school with a gun?
By Bill McKibben 

'98 study on guns in homes: For every use in self defense, there were 4 accidental shootings, 7 assaults/homicides, & 11 suicide attempts.
By Brooke Jarvis 

Question: why do conservatives say that controlling guns won't prevent gun violence, but outlawing abortion will prevent abortion?
By Shelly 
Which requires a question for Shelly (and me): Why do liberals say that controlling drugs won't prevent drug use, but outlawing guns will prevent gun violence?
Gun violence since 1968 has killed more Americans than all the wars in all of U.S. history combined.
By DougHenwood 

Thinkers are never wrong, only early. Traders are often wrong, never in doubt
By Mark Dow 

Gun marketers don't kill people, toxic visions of masculinity that are bulwarks against existential fear of impotence, mortality kill people
By Brian Cook  

The elephant in the center of the room: white fantasies of shooting minority home invaders
By William Gibson

20 years ago, no way would I have ever imagined gay marriage would be a fait accompli. This debate CAN shift too.
By Tom Tomorrow

Number of homicides in Detroit, MI, 2010 - 310. Number in Windsor, ON, Canada, one mile away - 0. Same movies, video games.
By Mike Sloan

Journalists: NRA leaders ducking you today are betting that you’ll lose interest in the topic in a week. Prove them wrong.
By Jamison Foser

I don't think I stuttered the first time, but just to be safe: THOU SHALT NOT KILL.
By almightygod

The gun lobby already hates Obama. I wish he'd give them an actual reason.
By Mat Honan

sometimes me stick raisins to my body to feel like a cookie.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Removal of lead from gas increased American IQ by 6 points. (Removal of cars from cities might increase it by 60.)
By Taras Grescoe 

Even if the authors of the 2nd Amendment thought people should have guns, I doubt they thought the US should have more guns than people.
By Andy Borowitz 

Everywhere I look, I see people falling prey to confirmation bias. Just as I suspected.
By Noah Gray  

Kerning can be useful.
By Gino Zahnd

Most people live in cities. In most cities you can't see stars. Has anything fallen more steeply out of human consciousness than real stars?
By Chris Steller 

The reason to use "may" in a headline is because "I don't really have a story here" is too many words.
By Bob Collins 

A bunch of African bands should do a Christmas fundraising tune called "Do They Know It's Condescending?"
By Jim Antle  

Governor Cuomo: I want you to take the ridiculous standardized tests you prescribe to me and my fellow peers + publish your scores publicly.
By Nikhil Goyal 

Kate Middleton is pregnant! It's always exciting when an average person with no particular talent does something ordinary.
By Frank Conniff 

Grammar be funny is it.
By Tim Minchin 

Hanukkah is the most American holiday because it's a celebration of burning oil that we don't have.
By Andy Borowitz

You never hear about people's "struggles with coffee."
By Chris Steller 


Ms Sparrow said...

Great bunch of quotes. I especially liked the education on kerning!

Susan Nagel said...

I gotta get me some of them lights.