Sunday, September 2, 2012

The Nuggets of August

Here's the best of the sliver of Twitter I saw, collected over the past month, in reverse chronological order. A lot convention stuff, Todd Akin references, the anointing of Paul Ryan, a touch of Olympics, and a bunch of what have you.

For two years we have watched the Tea Party Congress put all their energy into destroying a single black man who was trying to do his job.
By Mike Monteiro

Clint Eastwood, an 82 year old man who has had 7 children with 5 women, was married twice & talking to me about family values!
By Chris Rock

"IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING" Well, I do see the gradual emergence of an oppressive police state. Is that the sort of thing you mean?
By Mike McCaffrey

Ironic that the marathon Paul Ryan ran was Grandma's, since he's supposed to want to throw her off the cliff and/or bus.
By Chris Steller

Mitt Romney Mormon-baptized his atheist father-in-law AFTER the man died. He’ll respect your beliefs just as well.…
By Mike Monteiro

Mitt Romney never took a salary as governor? That's like someone worth $200K foregoing $100. Seriously. I did the math.
By David Corn

Entrepreneurship is not the only American Dream. Once upon a time, reliable working class jobs paying living wage were.
By Tom Tomorrow
this entire convention is a three day exercise in epistemological closure.
By Tom Tomorrow

The subtext of tonight is if you are not rich or a famous politician you or your parents were lazy.
By Sam Seder

Senator son of a Congressman endorses Governor son of a Governor. THE AMERICAN DREAM!
By John Burns
Guys, if you hate government so much, just stay out of it. There are other people willing to take on the responsibility.By Tom Tomorrow

Rush Limbaugh blamed Obama for the Tampa hurricane. You do what you want, but I'll def vote for THE GUY WHO CAN CONTROL THE WEATHER.
By Mark Agee

If you think presidential campaign partisanship is nasty and dumb, try wading into iPhone vs Android disputes some time.
By mattyglesias

Kickstarter is like QVC for hipsters
By max engel

RT @OTOOLEFAN: ACTUAL line from CNN Romney doc: "In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21 year old American." TRY VIETNAM.
By Joshua Holland

*#!% white people who make fun of & degrade black people's names while, unironically, "mitt," "reince," and "newt" are beloved republicans
By C.C.

For the money spent on the IRAQ war, the US could have had fare-free public transit and less need to steal oil.
By Free Public Transit

Maybe start publicly honoring more of your heroes BEFORE they die. Funerals are a really crappy place to introduce the guest of honor.
By Merlin Mann

When the iPhone debuted, it was widely criticized for having no buttons/keys. Now people think the iPhone’s design is “obvious.”
By Dan Frakes

The number of people confusing Lance Armstrong and Neil Armstrong right now is a testament to how Michele Bachmann is a congresswoman.
By Stephen Toulouse

"no-one's ever asked to see my birth certificate" is a pretty succinct statement of white privilege.
By Kevin Marks

Austerity is not an economic policy, it is just the grabbing of public assets during hard times.
By Free Public Transit

Once the Republicans ban abortion in cases of rape and incest they're going to focus on America's spiraling witch problem.
By Andy Borowitz

Nothing more tedious than the zealotry of the recent convert.
By Anil Dash

I guess it should not surprise me that people confused by climate science are also confused by reproductive science.
By Tom Tomorrow

GOP denies rape, climate change & evolution. But was totally sure about weapons of mass destruction.
By Litsa Dremousis

It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is only remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
By The One and Only

Bradley Manning has been imprisoned without trial for 815 days and counting. Meanwhile Pussy Riot’s 730 day sentence draws US condemnation.
By Jeremy Keith

Is it possible to win a Senate race with 0% of the women's vote? Asking for a friend.
By Nate Silver

U.S. spends $14B/yr advertising cars, enough to guarantee every child in the world an education.…
By Free Public Transit

The "earth" without "art" is just "eh."
By Kate Borman

The right wing does not need truth or logic. They have on their side a billion people who want to live in suburbs. What can we offer better?
By Free Public Transit

You don't need religion to have morals. If you can't determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.
By Morgan Freeman

OH from friend: "Not sure I can handle three more months of austerity lectures from a guy whose dancing horse just got back from Europe."
By Frank Barbieri

Chris Christie loves Springsteen. Paul Ryan loves Rage Against The Machine. They cross the aisle musically; too bad they don't in politics.
By Josh Harkinson

Most of the "progress" that people ascribe to technology is really due to easy oil, as you should be noticing by now.
By Free Public Transit

Asking a rich lady to explain why she has a fake corporation in the Bahamas? Wrong! But peeing in a cup for food stamps? A-OK!
By Dale

Imagine my surprise when I clicked "Show Rulers" and a pantheon of giant hyper-dimensional lizards appeared in front of me
By Matt Jones

Just watched episode of BreakingBad. Lot less meth on streets if Walter had adequate insurance to cover his cancer treatments
By Sandra Fluke

If the true costs of oil had always been included in the price there would be no such thing as a private auto.
By Free Public Transit
If Paul Ryan popped up in the first ten minutes of a Law and Order episode, you'd be all "oh, he's the killer".
By Alex Baze

Paul Ryan has been a government worker his entire life and he's worth $3.5 million? We're going to need to see those tax returns.
By allanbrauer

The Republican ticket now reminds Americans of the guy who fired them, plus the guy who _that_ guy hired to tell them they were fired.
By Adam Isacson

I'm so over dudes who are waaaayyy into "personal freedom and responsibility" but wanna have a say in what happens in my uterus.
By ann friedman

Paul Ryan's not a bad guy. He just wants poor and sick people to pay for the huge debt he voted for during the Bush years.
By Frank Conniff

"Bronze medals don't count," he said, as his rippling belly sent Cheeto dust floating into the air, forming a nimbus of orange fog.
By Jason Sweeney

Last time a member of the House was on a winning presidential ticket? 1908 -- also the last time the Cubs won the World Series.
By Nate Silver

Wait - Paul Ryan's dad quoted Eldridge Cleaver to him growing up?
By Tom Tomorrow

A huge amount of what's wrong w/ the media is due to the incentives for *too much content*By Christopher Hayes

"No matter the cost, we must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker." "What should we name him?" "Luke Skywalker."
By asterios kokkinos

Man arrested for *attempted bank robbery* for holding "You are being robbed" sign outside of a bank protest.
By radleybalko

.@realDonaldTrump A person who went bankrupt WHILE owning casinos, shouldn't really have a say about economics. Shut the %#!$ up.
By Max

Oh? Your god created a vast universe of unimaginable scale just to tell some apes on a rock when & with whom to have sex? 
By Another atheist

#RomneyHood Where the absence of a lapel pin means you're unpatriotic but parking you money offshore isn't. "♫ My country 'tis of thee...♫"
By TrumpDog

No simple solutions? Not true. There are hundreds of simple solutions. What's stopping us? Profits.
By Free Public Transit

Mitt Romney has lined his pockets using tax loopholes & hidden offshore bank accounts. Yet he disdains "welfare cheats."
By Frank Conniff

Papa John: "My pizzas now cost more. Blame Obamacare." Us: "Your employees get better healthcare for a dime? Deal."
By Hemant Mehta

My right to not get shot supersedes your right to carry a gun.
By Mike Monteiro

In case you missed it earlier - the Mars Curiosity cost $2.5B. Americans spend $7B on potato chips annually. To say we can't afford this is nonsense.
By Nick Hlavacek

From the outside, it looks like America is having a civil war in slow motion.
By Indefensible

Every Olympic event should include one average person competing, for reference.
By Scott Simpson

Still can't get over how Rosa Parks infringed on the rights of those folks in the front of the bus with her hate-sitting
By Andy Richter

RT @ianbremmer In 1974, 3% of retiring members of Congress became lobbyists. Today, 50% of Senators, 42% of House Reps
By David Wessel

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