Tuesday, May 28, 2013

May 2013 as Seen Through Twitter

Another month gone by, and only these tweets to show for it.

I feel like every time I see a car with one of those blue and white "Coexist" bumper stickers, they're from Minnesota.
By James Farnsworth

Who fell asleep in the rain? Did you fall asleep in the rain? Yes you did.
By splattermac

Can't stand the "Ooh, Marissa Meyer's on a shopping spree!" ledes re: Hulu, as if she's trawling for new heels and not a fucking CEO
By laura olin

We know you have many countries to choose from for your casual racism and homophobia needs. Thank you for picking the USA.
By matt

There is a lot of fat that can be cut for #transition away from fossil fuels. Problem is, it's not the fat that's getting cut.
By Free Public Transit

There’s taking a stand, and then there’s striking a pose. Easy to confuse the two.
By caseybennetto

"Princeton gets about $54,000 a year per student in government subsidies. The College of New Jersey receives a total of about $1,600."
By Nikhil Goyal

Overheard: Dad: I've got a joke for you. A man walks into a bank... Kid: Why would you walk into a bank?
By David Waldman

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful spouse" would've rhymed & been more universal than "beautiful wife."
By Chris Steller

Jon Stewart on the real world: "There is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective."
By Nikhil Goyal

Give a teen a fish and he’ll say “I’m not eating this shit.” Teach a teen to fish and he’ll say “my real dad never made me do this crap.”
By lawblob

Better to find possibilities in how things are now than to wish for what they were. Collect seeds, not ashes.
By Rosabeth Moss Kanter

"When we shrink our demands to what we think is politically achievable, it actually undermines our ability to succeed." Ai-Jen Poo
By Trista Hendren

Infinite scroll. A footer. Choose one.
By Jeremy Keith

My friend wanted to feel like a princess for her wedding day, so I made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
By Michelle Wolf

The word "URGENT" should cost at least $100 per usage.
By Merlin Mann

Flying squirrel, with young.
By Emergency Cute Stuff

"Optimism is a political act. In fact, these days, cynicism is obedience." --alex steffen (abbreviated)
By Joe Henry

WARNING: If you get a direct message from me with a link asking you to look at this tinned meat, don't open it. It's spam.
By Irene Adler

Seeing what Twitter icon a company uses on their site is like counting the rings of a tree.
By Jason Santa Maria

Dear all websites ever. My day phone is my evening phone is my home phone is my cell phone. Sincerely, 2013
By Corrin Foster

Want to get a good bang for your buck when it comes to policing? Rescue equip saves lives > anti-terror military equip
By panndder

Finally, when white people break into stores after a disaster, we realize it's fear, not "looting."
By Charlie Quimby

We humans are smart as individuals, but as a species, we are letting our greedy people do most of the thinking.
By Free Public Transit

Peggy Noonan calls Obama scandals worst since Watergate, especially since they involve not even one arms sale to a terrorist.
By Frank Conniff

Children who attend free or democratic schools are the most articulate, creative people you will ever meet.
By Nikhil Goyal

I wish Trump bought Tumblr and renamed it Trumplr
By samir

Graduation is strange. It tells people that learning is finished + that they're better than those who haven't received that piece of paper.
By Nikhil Goyal

Dystopian novels from the '50s and '60s amuse me. Massive supercomputers and yet, you still use an operator to place a phone call.
By Jon Bauer 

Average hourly wage for garment workers: Bangladesh $.24 Cambodia $.45 Pakistan $.52 Vietnam $.53 China $1.26
By ian bremmer 

Over 40,000 U.S. schools no longer have recess.
By Nikhil Goyal

President Obama will go down in history as the first to be impeached for "horrible customer service"
By Chris Steller

All hornet nests emit free Wi-Fi, but you have to stand very, very close to get signal.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Just a reminder, while the private auto is efficiently maiming & killing individuals, its agenda is destroying the biosphere.
By Free Public Transit

Wish media had given this much attention to renewal of #FISA, which permits dragnet surveillance of international calls (including journalists' calls!)
By Jameel Jaffer

If Angelina Jolie making the same choice as other women elevates it to major significance, I hope Kim Kardashian does world peace.
By Charlie Quimby

If you can read in a car without getting carsick you might be an android.
By Kristen Schaal

EU cars take 10% of household income, but are used only one hour per day.
By Free Public Transit

Ravens = parrots of the North.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Constitution isn’t there to settle arguments; it’s meant to allow us to argue without killing each other. @petersagal #ConstitutionPBS
By UChicago Politics

It's Monsanto's world. We just eat in it.
By Robert O. Simonson

I’m also tempted to send Game of Thrones spoilers to people who email me things in .doc format.
By Okay Type

I wish Republicans would take this "good for our kids" argument and apply it equally as strong to the gun control debate.
By Seth Johnson

If you claim to follow both Jesus and Ayn Rand, then you badly misunderstand at least one of them.
By almightygod

Creativity, problem-solving, resilience — qualities that are not assessed on the SAT or ACT — are what separates the best from the average.
By Nikhil Goyal

Americans killed in Benghazi members of world's most elite, exclusive club - victims of violence the GOP gives a shit about.
By Frank Conniff

Education provokes an open range of outcomes; business models aspire to predictability.
By Dr. Walter Greason

#freetransit would take millions of cars off the road. That's the equivalent of taking millions of cars off the road.
By Free Public Transit

"Reject the idea of being almost good enough to get in to Harvard and embrace the idea of being extraordinarily good at something else."
By Nikhil Goyal

Sanford said supporters "carried me across the threshold, so to speak." Weird choice of metaphors, Congressman.
By Chris Steller

The most successful students are those who are given autonomy and control over their learning. Grit is overused and abused.
By Nikhil Goyal

God, I want to read the high-school English papers written by kids who watched the Baz Luhrmann "The Great Gatsby" instead of reading it.
By Tim Carvell

Kudos to US for being greatest nation, in spite of being held back by 50% wingnuts, gun nuts, creationists etc. Well done the other 50%.
By Richard Dawkins

I imagine hell to be a one lane highway filled with SUVs covered in decals of stick figure families
By Shawn Woodman

Suggested new "Mad Men" agency name: Handsome, Bland, Sad, Sad & Joan, Inc.
By Tim Carvell

The most important thing that universities do is bringing brilliant minds together to mingle and engage in an exchange of ideas.
By Nikhil Goyal

Car culture seems omnipotent, but actually has an Achilles heel. When it loses critical mass, its public subsidy will be seen as a burden.
By Free Public Transit

The unhappiest people I know are the ones who made all the right decisions.
By umair haque

"The true opposite of obedience is not disobedience but independence. The true opposite of order is not disorder but freedom."
By Nikhil Goyal

Every time Beyoncé types out her name, she has to google "Pokémon" and then copy/paste the "é".
By Mark Leggett

The only place I've received less help than I have at @BestBuy was at my 5th grade piano recital when I blacked out and time froze.
By Molly Priesmeyer

If non-elite liberal pussies, or elite non-liberal pussies, or elite liberal non-pussies want to be journalists, by all means go for it.
By Tim Murphy

Only U2 can prevent unforgettable fires.
By Tim Siedell

"If a picture is worth 1000 words, a prototype is worth 1000 meetings."
By C Todd Lombardo

Good design is far less subjective than those who are bad at design would lead you to believe.
By Aaron Levie

Sometimes, comedy writes itself.
By Simon Ricketts

The world always works a little better when adults treat young people as equals.
By Nikhil Goyal

If the Koch Bros really want to manipulate media, here's what you do. Buy papers. Then pay reporters well, encourage high-quality work.
By Maggie Koerth-Baker

You know that moment when you thought you figured out some fancy code and then you realized you broke the site. Yeah.
By Jamie Millard

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