Baby, That's Shameless

As the fine print near the baby's tiny left shin says, "These dolls are not toys; they are fine collectibles to be enjoyed by adult collectors."


Let's see... what definition of "fine" could possibly be matched up with this misbegotten product placement, for which the advertiser is charging $29.99, plus $6.99 shipping per baby (totaling $147.92 for all four)?

1. Free from impurity -- Hmmm. I don't think there was a whole lot of purity involved in the motivations to make this product.
   
2. Having a delicate or subtle quality -- Subtle? Like a sledgehammer, maybe.
   
3. Superior in quality, conception, or appearance -- I don't think placing an ad for a candy on a pseudo-baby's chest, with a mouth just over the belly button probably qualifies.
   
4. Marked by or effecting elegance or refinement -- Ditto.
   
5. Very small -- Okay, they got me on that one. The doll is 6" long, not quite as big as my hand.
   

The only upside of our current economic tailspin is that it might drive places like The Ashton-Drake Galleries out of business.