Engineers don’t like titles because most titles are lies.
By Michael Lopp
Only a Democrat could prevent a depression, end a war, get bin Laden, bring unemployment below 8% & then be told he can't run on his record.
By Chris Rock
I don't understand why Mitt Romney wants to be President of a country that has so many women and poor people in it.
By Andy Borowitz
The United States income disparity between CEO and average worker compared to the rest of the world.
By Anthony De Rosa
I'll never understand the obsession for Louis Vuiton luggage. Looks like my grandparents' lawn bowles bags.
By John McDermott
Spam is legal and Reddit filters it. Legality isn't the only criteria online communities use to decide what's okay.
By Gina Trapani
Guns don't kill people. Single mothers kill people.
By Feministing
Romney: "I would work to replace the culture of violence with a culture of unshackled greed."
By Andy Borowitz
We've now moved into Phase Two, where bankers take chunks of their bailouts and give them to think tanks that lecture us about free markets
By Jonathan Schwarz
Given the penchant for melodrama of some Islamist leaders, I'm starting to wonder if it was actually a molehill that came to Muhammad.
By Tim Minchin
Another expression for "fiscally conservative and socially liberal" is "pro-overclass."
By PEG
The 6 Stages of Debugging: That can't happen. That shouldn't happen. Hmmm, weird. Why does that happen? Oh, I see. How did that ever work?
By Shawn
When we say freedom, we don't mean freedom to plunder.
By Free Public Transit
If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
By Chris Rock
Kids are on a prison sentence for thirteen years of their life -- school. Nothing is really the same after that.
By Nikhil Goyal
Ryan saying the word that described him was "honesty" was like one of those logic problems Captain Kirk would use to make computers explode.
By Tom Tomorrow
Every star on the flag on Ryan's flag pin is, itself, another flag pin.
By Dave Itzkoff
It’s wrong that Romney can consider the money he gives to the Mormon Church as “charity” when they sponsored the anti-prop 8 campaign in CA.
By amaeryllis
Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a punctuation mark, a gang sign, an extinct mammal and a hieroglyph.
By Stephanie Wright
Debate is a terrible format for evaluating politicians. How about a reality show where they have to (gasp!) work together & solve something?
By Vienna Teng
... I refuse to believe this is an accident.
By CAFR
Go back and look at old pictures of yourself. See how cute you were? Now remember how ugly you felt? Extrapolate.
By john roderick
Dear Sir or Madam, What's it like being a knight or running a brothel?
By matt
I wonder which Romney I should believe--the one who told us he was wrong, or the one who didn't know he was on camera?
By Chris Dashiell
First World Problems Anthem
By thegiftofwater
I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
By Mike Birbiglia
If only Christians had a role model for kindness and acceptance.
By Mike Monteiro
If "webinars" are held on the web, I probably don't want to know where "seminars" are held.
By Tom Tomorrow
Why we need hyphens: Because a violent weather conference isn't the same as a violent-weather conference
By Grammar Monkeys
The health products advertised on cable news do not make one look forward to growing old.
By Tom Tomorrow
Ah, I forgot. The conservative view is that racism no longer exists and blacks are stoking division by talking about it.
By Jamelle Bouie
"Everyone outside our bubble is involved in a giant conspiracy against those inside it." - every cultish reactionary movement ever
By David Roberts
“As far as I’m concerned, whom is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.” -- Calvin Trillin
By Maud Newton
Police have arrested one TSA agent for theft every week since 2003. No terrorists have been caught.
By FoundOnWeb
Used to be, people went into business when they had a good idea. Now, people study "business," like "wanting to make money" is an idea.
By john roderick
Cars that drive themselves, mapping ocean floor = doable. Micropayments for creators accessed via Google = you crazy dreamer.
By Tom Tomorrow
There is nothing more gratifying than being attacked by someone who can't spell.
By Andy Borowitz
So if you want cake for breakfast it's called muffin. Lol adults, I see what you did there.
By Honest Toddler
#ImWithMitt because our rich aren't rich enough, our poor aren't poor enough, our air and water are too clean and minorities are too uppity!
By winds7seas
WHAT if people WHO write for print emphasized THE wrong words for dramatic effect like radio ANNOUNCERS so often do?
By Chris Steller
Wish people had gotten this mad about the decision in Citizens United.
By Jon Lovett
Baffled by modern science, but over-awed by the knowledge of Bronze Age goat-herds? There's a religion for that.
By The Logical Narwhal
It drives me crazy when people say "I could care less." It's "I could care fewer," people!!!
By Craig Eliason
I wonder how many incorrectly used apostrophes could be avoided if people whose names end with S weren't allowed to own things.
By John
New rule: If your great-grandpa had 5 wives, you don't get to claim that "marriage has been between one man and one woman for 3,000 years."
By Jason Febery
"I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion." -- Web comment that has never been made
By Andy Borowitz
Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
By Aristotles
A filing cabinet full of stuff I have stumbled across, but can no longer keep in hard copy.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Twitter Mining
The best of September and October.
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