It must be weird having to write the headlines for the floor plans in the Star Tribune Homes section. All of the pseudo is required to hark back to something else — usually farmhouses, but sometimes plantations or European villas. This new-fashioned farmhouse seems particularly... ironic? Wrong? I'm not sure what word to use.
From the outside it's off in some of the typical ways, with the attached garage and roof lines that would never be on a farmhouse. It has an open floor plan, of course, but that's what makes it new-fashioned, I guess.
But there's an additional detail. While I was checking to see if the master suite closet was only accessible through the bathroom (one of my regular peeves, and the answer is yes, of course), I noticed the thick-walled "safe room":
There it is, accessible only through the master bedroom closet, enlarged here:
But note: the other bedrooms are on the other side of the house, and that's where the master suite couple's children would be sleeping, right? So if there were a home invasion, the kids would be on their own over there on the far side of the house. Sorry kids, the ’rents are safe, but you are SOL.
Unless that's not what a safe room is about. What other purpose could there be for a thick-walled "safe" room, located far from all the other bedrooms in this new-fashioned farmhouse? Hmm. I wonder. Probably time to stop speculating.
___
Past posts about the Star Tribune Homes section and particularly its floor plans:
- Bring me the head of Rin-Tin-Tin (April 2011)
- The picture of Southern life (May 2013)
- Where to put the closets? (November 2015)
- Four-thousand feet of American excess (November 2017)
- No place like home (April 2019)
No comments:
Post a Comment