Has Been

Comedian W. Kamau Bell recently tweeted this:

"I woulda done it better, if I had done it, but I don't do things, but if I did do things, I'd do that one better." – Most internet criticism

It reminded me of the song "Has Been," performed by William Shatner on an album produced by Ben Folds. (Cowritten by Shatner and Folds.)

Has Been

Has been, has been, has been
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?
You callin' me "has been"?
What'd you say your name is?

Jack — never done Jack
Glad to meet you
Who's your friend?
Dick — don't say Dick
What do you know?
And you friend, what's your handle?
Don — Two Thumbs Don

Riding on their armchairs
They dream of wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game

Never done Jack and Two Thumbs Don
And sidekick don't say Dick
We'll laugh at others failures
Though we have not done shit

{I've heard of you, the ready-made connecting with the ever-ready, yeah
The never-was talking about still trying. I got it.
Forever-bitter gossiping about never-say-die
May I inquire what you've been doing, mister?}

Jack, never done Jack
And you partner, what's the news of the world, Dick?
I don't say Dick
Don, of all the people you must be The Tattler
Two Thumbs up
What are you afraid of, failure?

So am I

Has been implies failure
Not so

Has been is history
Has been was
Has been might again

It's from the album also called Has Been, which includes some other favorite songs of mine, especially "Common People."