Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Tweeting Up a Snowstorm

It's been a cold December in Minnesota, which provoked the Twitter hashtag #subzeroPrince. The three best ones I saw:

When gloves cry.
By Melissa Hansen

Darling Nippy.
By Chris Steller

Let's Go Crazy in the End Stages of Hypothermia.
By Jill Braithwaite
Then there was the thing about the Grand Canyon:
Time magazine says ‘There Are No Atheists at the Grand Canyon,’ claims that ‘Awe Equals Religion.’
By Hemant Mehta

It's funny 'cause the Grand Canyon kind of says "yeah fuck your religion, I'm older than it."
By Jessika

Wow...when will that myth go away? "God did it" takes awe away...
By Naughtmai Rheelname 
And Nelson Mandela's death:
Imagine being young in the 1980s and supporting apartheid. Those people still run most of the conservative movement.
By Alex Pareene

Weird that many of the people you usually hear fantasizing about rising up against a tyrannical government don't like Mandela very much.
By AdamSerwer

Today world leaders are tripping over themselves to honor Mandela, tomorrow they'll get back to viciously fighting anyone like him.

Nelson Mandela: a noble reminder that those declared "criminals" by an unjust society are often the most just.
By Glenn Greenwald

#Mandela #PardonManning
By Cassandra 
We also had to endure hearing about the Sixty Minutes interview with Amazon's Jeff Bezos and his drone delivery plans:
Man I'm sad about how easy it was for Bezos to troll all y'all. Remember that the FAA just approved your 1987 Gameboy for use on an airplane
By Patrick Ewing

Walmart announces plans to deliver your purchases by flying monkey.
By delrayser

BREAKING: Etsy to begin delivering packages by barn owl.
By Ryan Calo

Boy, if only everyone talked about drones this much when they killed children.
By David Weiner

Idea: LinkedIn drones
By Chris Steller

Driverless trucks unload at warehouses sorted by robots to ship Chinese-made goods by unmanned drones to the last middle class family.
By Jon Lovett
Followed by my usual assortment of newly discovered grouchiness, angst, humor, and education reform:
When people claim that school needs to "teach kids how to learn," do they really mean "train kids how to be successful at school?"
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Why do Americans assume clams are happy?
By Ishaan Tharoor

Cookie Monster:

By Halloween Costumes

"It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages." —Henry Ford
By Amanda Lannert

"I love women!" —Guy who hates women
By Scott Simpson

The only thing humans like more than eating sugar is feeding sugar to microorganisms who poop out alcohol.
By almightygod

We are doing all these things that suck so that you can learn how to deal with things that suck. You will thank me later.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Do we really want to use up the last of the oil sitting in traffic jams? 
By Free Public Transit

Pretty sure Alec Baldwin needs to play Millard Fillmore at some point.

By Adrienne LaFrance

Idea: A movie version of "Millions of Cats" but with cars: "Millions of Cars."
By Chris Steller

It's not that some kids are tired, hungry and scared... It's that we don't have national standards... Duh....
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Bear smoking a cigar:

By Halloween Costumes

If anti-gay messages are about loving the sinner, why do they come wrapped in so much hate?
By Josh Barro

Got a pitch from a company that describes itself as a "Netflix for books." Which I'm pretty sure is also the definition of a library.
By Rick Ellis

Post-modern graffiti:

By John McTernan

Look: Maybe you shouldn't have installed a Koala Kare changing table if you didn't want me diapering my koala on it.
By Tim Carvell

Do you think 25 kids in a room, in desks, with one adult charged with teaching 1 idea, for 42 minutes, is a good idea?
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

I don't know anything about the people who live in this house, except that I think I love them!

By Shawn Huckaby

For every person that has found joy in a subject they were forced to learn, there are hundreds of others that developed a hatred for it.
By Nikhil Goyal

Washing hands in cold water would save 6 million metric tons of CO2 per year in the U.S. and get us just as clean.
By IonE
Watching "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street" and thinking about how the '70s were a really gentle time to be a kid.
By Rainbow Rowell

Also, the Sesame Street cast in 1978 must still be one of the most diverse casts of all time in American television.
By Rainbow Rowell

And yet, as a white kid living in a realllly white state in the '70s, I never felt like the show wasn't FOR me.
By Rainbow Rowell

What's scarier than hate? God-backed hate.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

"An unlikely friendship arises between the two" — all friendships are unlikely; the human mind is impenetrable.
By Mallory

An 1815 principal decrying modern technology:

By Eric Redmond

Our collective stupidity — in thinking we can manage, measure, and control learning through data and numbers — will be our downfall.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

I have infinite power and knowledge, but I need you to send me 10% of your income.
By almightygod

What you're really seeing is a bunch of angry people fume because their ability to offend gay and black people with impunity is going away.
By Pete Nicely

Or to put it another way, we should focus less on horrible people we don’t know and more on ways we ourselves are horrible.
By Rafe

What about "Young Insufferables"?
By Chris Steller

Have been laughing at this slogan for about 5 minutes:

By Sophie Gadd

DESOLATION OF SMAUG: Tolkien's light touch replaced with noise. CGI combat is the auto-tune of action movies. Or maybe I'm just old.
By Joe Hill

I’d like you so much more if instead of “convenience fee” you said “our cut” or “commission” or even “additional overcharge.”
By Jamison Foser

A medium-size US city exports $1M a day for gasoline. You can sharply reduce that with #freetransit. Just one of many benefits.
By Free Public Transit

If you read one thing today, you should probably read more things.
By Paul Fidalgo

Have you guys ever seen baby reindeer?

By Terence Wiggins

Agriculture covers about 40% of the land on Planet Earth. For comparison, cities and suburbs cover around 1%.
By Jonathan Foley

Just tried to parallel park and 43 people are injured. 2 missing. The death toll continues to rise.
By Jamie

Holiday derives from Holy Day. So it's etymologically under-informed to assert that "Happy Holidays" does not reference God.
By Neil deGrasse Tyson

Cheap oil has peaked. Gradually being replaced by cheap labor.
By Free Public Transit

As a copy editor I have waited my entire life for a terrorist wearing a baklava. I can now retire.
By Benjamin Dreyer

I'm writing a book called "Black Women Shouting Into the Void." The cover is a white person repeating everything I say, collecting awards.
By Danielle

Definition of algorithm:

By Roberto Bez

There needs to be a convenient way to tell the internet that that thing you once searched for—and now are buried in ads for it—you now hate.
By LawremIpsum

Teaching is not charity work. Do not donate to TFA — it isn't a charity. You don't get to build your resume on other people's kids.
By Karen Lewis

So, communists are on the moon, Americans are spying on everyone, and a large advertising company is expanding into military robots.
By tef

junot diaz: "mentioning the fact that white supremacy exists is a way to guarantee that you have no friends."
By alicia sanchez gill

Old theory of economic growth: A rising tide raises all boats. New practice: A rising tide raises all yachts.
By Edward Tufte

If you met my regular office visitors in the summer, you wouldn't know they were the "bad" kids. You would call them lively, engaging, spunky.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

"All paradises, all utopias are designed by who is not there, by the people who are not allowed in."
By Toni Morrison

If you're wondering why this #NotYourAsianSidekick hashtag is so big right now, here's part of the issue:

By Catherine Labiran

5 yr old: "We get periods, what happens to a penis? What do guys get in their penis?" Me: "Nothing." 5 yr old: "OH MAN! OH MAAAAAAAAAN!"
By kelly oxford

The 15 civilians killed by "mistake" in Yemen today is more people than have died in the US from terrorism this decade.
By Fire Tom Friedman

This is the time of year when TV severely misleads men about the message that a mass-produced pendant from a mall chain jewelry store sends.
By Andy Ihnatko

If Saturday Night Live hires ALL the black women in this photo I promise I will never mention reparations ever again.
By W. Kamau Bell

Yet, all of our green gadgets cumulatively contribute only a fraction of what we save by living in a walkable neighborhood.
By Jeff Speck

Came across this cartoon in a teaching book. Very true.

By Science Porn

Always wanted to travel back in time to try fighting a younger version of yourself? Software development is the career for you!
By Elliot Loh

Starting a Kickstarter to get those poor doctors some borders.
By Megan Amram

People will pitch an assignment to you as "short and fun" to make it seem easy. But writers should charge double for that.
By Rainbow Rowell

"We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions." —Ian Percy
By knowledge_tweets

"Nonvoting is a fruitless temper tantrum." —Bruce M. Wright
By Henry Louis Gates Jr

We'll deal with content later. #FiveWordTechHorrors
By Amy Mihlhauser

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. —Plato
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Barney Frank came out as gay in 1987 but waited until he retired in 2013 to come out as an atheist. Says a lot.
By Sahil Kapur

The relatively benign nature of being-born-on-3rd-&-thinking-you-hit-a-homer seems to have become seed-the-basepath-to-1st-with-land-mines.
By Andy Richter

1993 vs. 2013:

By History In Pictures

When did questions about when things happened become rhetorical questions of why they happened?
By Chris Steller

The ego craves control. Data feels like control.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

It's too bad Sartre lived before you could get chain waiters to sing to your friend a silly birthday song, because, ahahhahaha.
By Julieanne Smolinski

Some people find jesus in their toast, I find Grumpy Cat in my apple.

By rolandlogan

"Anybody here work for a poor person?" he asked. Actually, you do, Senator Paul. 700k Kentuckians live in poverty.
By The National Memo

The great American prairie is far, far more damaged than any harm South Americans have done the Amazon.
By Alex Wild

Why is it that every tech company has a cafeteria, gym, game room and wet bar but onsite day care is not a thing?
By Anne K. Halsall

I think @tallychyck says it all here.

By Steve Lieber

Why do you take two Mormons fishing? Because if I take one he'll drink all my beer. —Jonathan Evison
By Charlie Quimby

There will always be a shortage of talented, self-motivated creative professionals who will unquestioningly follow orders.
By James Halliday

Fixing poverty is a prisoner's dilemma on a worldwide scale.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

What's the compound German word for visiting a B&B with your sister and being asked, "How long have you two been together?"
By Julieanne Smolinski

There’s a special circle of hell reserved for assholes in SUVs who don’t yield to pedestrians in the Target parking lot when it’s –11° out.
By Jodi Chromey

Medical bracelet for modern times:

By Alan N.

Choosing a design firm based on spec work is like choosing a life partner based on a lap dance.
By Mike Monteiro

Q: What is the most used language in programming?
A: Profanity.
By Stacey

Frankly, "investment banker" is the greatest bullshit term in modern history. They're not "banks"; they don't "invest."
By umair haque

Want to stop the ravages of development? Raise the motor fuel tax, make buses free in the city and gradually abolish private autos there.
By Free Public Transit

Sometimes Disney doesn't think things through, and sometimes those outcomes are awesome:

By ThatAnonymousCoward

When someone demands "Do you love this country?" the accurate answer is almost always "I love the parts you're trying to destroy."
By Jonathan Schwarz

School has become the world religion of a modernized proletariat, and makes futile promises of salvation to the poor of the technological age.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

If you believe government is too incompetent to trust with tech that affects people's lives, focus on nuclear weapons & drones, not websites.
By Anil Dash

"I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"
By Ian Duhig

i mean, yeah, i waste my life in some ways, but at least i never developed a strong opinion about fonts
By dorkevil

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