Saturday, November 30, 2013

Remember, Remember, the Tweets of November

From Thanksgiving going backwards to Halloween, with lots of health care, school reform, and climate change.

A favorite Thanksgiving tradition is wondering why the hell fresh thyme is only sold in quantities that are 50x what anyone could use.
By Anil Dash

It's sad that this parade has gotten so commercial that it isn't even about Macy's anymore.
By Hayley Hudson

Rarely are school assignments not a chore. Some value the compensation for that chore, some don't. Some chores are more meaningful than others.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

I give up. I can no longer tell the difference between a Snowden leak and an Onion article.
By Eva

Remember: If you camp out for a tv, you're a good consumer. If you camp out for social justice, you're a dirty hippie and will be maced.
By Joseph Herrmann III

Give get test forget.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

It's just amazing: incomes of the top 1% grew by 31.4% from 2009 - 2012, compared to just 0.4% for the rest of us.
By Jesse Drucker

At times wonder if me hard work of leaving single glove and mitten in gutters, sidewalks + slush puddles of N. America is really appreciated
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Obamacare is Obama's Katrina, if Katrina was a hurricane that didn't kill anyone and eventually helped millions of people.
By Frank Conniff

Yes, autocorrect, when I mistakenly typed "cpworker", what I meant was indeed "poor owlet." Well done.
By Seany

Incredible to me how cities will put out countless sums of money for new stadiums, but not fiber.
By Matt Mullenweg

My iPhone's autocorrect helpfully turned Ebook into Ebola.
By Charlie Quimby

We could have the garden of eden. But no, we have cars instead.
By Free Public Transit

I love it when electeds and pundits who range from awful to weak on climate change claim to be motivated by concern for my generation.
By Mike Conrad

Playing "Mack the Knife" is a great way to get any room full of old people to sing enthusiastically about serial murder.
By Julieanne Smolinski

"Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of people who were oppressing them."
By Nikhil Goyal

This barn likes to sing opera:


By Halloween Costumes

"Schools in partnership with parents." Translation: "Parents, take our word for it, we know best."
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Absurd Warsaw talks on climate show why we need to take on the fossil fuel industry that impedes all progress.
By Bill McKibben

The common core will give us the sense of motion while we are still rooted down into our deep systemic issues-poverty and system irrelevance.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

Schools teach children that learning is difficult and boring and it only happens in a school. When none of those are true.
By Nikhil Goyal

"The school must run a race which mostly rich kids will win but which most poor people will accept as fair." --John Holt
By Nikhil Goyal

Anyone who thinks women have a tendency to be “more cooperative and pleasant” should stop by. I can disabuse you of that notion real quick.
By Mandy Brown

A Vitamin Water has as much sugar as 3 Krispy Kreme donuts.
By Erika Hall

I love our copy desk:


By JB Silver-Greenberg

The Ayn Rand Institute just emailed me to offer free Rand books for my students. Apparently the market price is wrong & subsidies are needed
By Justin Wolfers

Over 5 billion people are not on social media. There will you find many of the victims of #peakoil and #climate.
By Free Public Transit

We set kids up in an environment where it is clear that adults are not their equals but peers are. Then we wonder why they follow peers vs us.
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

How do it feel
To be own your own
Direct people home
Through construction zone
Like a traffic cone
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

The White Savior Industrial Complex is not about justice. It is about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege.
By Teju Cole

Where's the bill to drug test recipients of ag subsidies?
By AdamSerwer

What is the proper early voting period for states? My (not very strong) view is voting should start on Saturday 10 days before Election Day.
By Josh Barro

That gives voters two weekends and seven weekdays on which they can vote without encouraging voting way before the campaign has ended.
By Josh Barro

Imagine a male novelist's NYT obit saying "As a man, he pursued his own desires, professional, political and sexual."
By Elif Batuman (regarding the death of Doris Lessing)

Skunks be super intelligent and should have taken over world long ago, but are so obsessed with stink that they never really amount to much.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

I just find it strange that the same culture that will scream RTFM [read the fucking manual] at any question now demands it be spoon-fed feminism without doing any work.
By Andrea Jessup

Why does a Tesla fire with no injury get more media headlines than 100,000 gas car fires that kill 100s of people per year?
By Elon Musk

Then Google Maps was like, "turn right on Malcolm Ten Boulevard" and I knew there were no black engineers working there
By allison bland

I'm tired of Big Data. What we need is Big Wisdom.
By Jonathan Foley

Someone marked every death in the Game of Thrones series.

 
By BuzzFeed

Climate: 'Loss and damage' negotiations stall. Bathtub overflows, and we're arguing with the neighbors downstairs instead of closing the tap.
By Kees van der Leun

End of an email I received from the Educational Testing Service: "Thank you for your compliance." Yes, master.
By Nikhil Goyal

We can go outside and enjoy the wind/breeze and feel small to nature, or go inside w/ hand held fans and call ourselves wind makers. #ego
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

People aren't sheep, they just can't afford to waste courage.
By Free Public Transit

Christmas songs on retail store sound systems are like predator drone strikes of depression.
By Frank Conniff

Schools have a sort of munchausen by proxy thing going on. We diagnose the illness (deficit, that may be imaginary) then we "cure it" with an IEP [individualized education program].
By mpljr (Sisyphus)

A bunch of people sitting in a board room made a conscious decision to make this:

 
By lacey micallef

A racist, a misogynist, a child murderer and an NRA poster child walk into a bar. Hey George Zimmerman!
By DC Debbie

Spent most of yesterday at a secular funeral. It was held at a winery. Total celebration of a man's life. Tears, yes, but lots of joy, too.
By Hemant Mehta

I find it a bit humorous when I'm asked about writing male characters. I've spent my entire life identifying with male characters in media.
By Faith Erin Hicks

I mean, if you like things like comics, movies, TV and Star Trek, as a woman enjoying those things you'll be asked to identify with men.
By Faith Erin Hicks

When the first question the receptionist at the doctor's office asks is "What's your insurance provider?" you know you're in America.
By Molly Priesmeyer

My literary goal in life is to become a cult favorite of readers who know better than to join a cult.
By Charlie Quimby

"'Green' gifts are no gifts. Quit making and buying junk." --Said by a total jerk who may or may not be me.
By Molly Priesmeyer

What the heck is a race-themed movie? What do they call movies starring a white people? Oh. Movies. #usatodayfail
By Zerlina

“Doing nothing about the immense planetary disaster imperiling civilization is the biggest regret of my presidency.” -Barack Obama, 2017
By Gerry Canavan

Can we get past the idea that the goal of everything is "growth?" Growth for its sake is cancer's strategy, too.
By Carl Safina

Imagine not being so filled with self-disgust that you actually self-promote.
By Julieanne Smolinski

It's worse than we realized. RT @BlackManUSA: Rob Ford is actually a NAACP experiment to see how much shit a white man can get away with.
By Touré

I believe healthcare is a universal human right, and nobody should have to worry about what happens if they get sick, except getting better.
By Wil Wheaton

This will always be one of my favourite cartoons.


By _spock

Twitter made me love strangers I've never met and Facebook made me hate people I've known all my life.
By Amanda Blain

We live in a country where President Obama is being held more accountable for a website than for drone strikes.
By Zakir Khan

Sorry, important story about slow-moving, long-term climate disaster. No one will read you today.
By Kate Sheppard

Medicare for all would’ve been so much easier...
By Chris Shields

For every 100 calories we feed to farm animals we get back about 12 calories of meat and dairy.
By Momentum

"Mean" meaning "stingy" or "nasty" is from Germanic roots. "Mean" meaning "middle" or "intermediate" is from Latin.
By Peter Sokolowski

Billion dollar idea: sweaters for women with breasts.
By Julieanne Smolinski

I carry my privilege like a piece of lumber: constantly worried I’ll turn and hit someone with the half I can’t see.
By Chris Ashworth

It's amazing these history shows don't run out of white guys to interview.
By Chris Steller

Did you get that? There are FEWER than 100 shelter beds for almost 20,000 homeless children & youth in Chicago.
By Prison Culture

At Yale, 44% of students come from families making over $200,000. Harvard [is] even worse
By Sarah Kendzior

Please, stop clicking on listicles. I know I sound like an old grump, but they strangle discourse.
By Motivated Grammar

Stories on Medicaid expansion, food stamp cuts, hunger, homeless vets are all symptoms of the same central problem.
By Christopher Hayes

The labor market is totally broken, and American capitalism is failing to produce full employment, shared growth and rising wages.
By Christopher Hayes

A good time to remember our veterans would be the next time we're deciding whether to go to war.
By Andy Borowitz

"If you see race here maybe YOU'RE the racist!" is my favorite square on the Racism-Denying Bingo Card.
By jay smooth

A graph showing the frequency of miracles over history.

 
By Gino Zahnd

Drone strikes, stop & frisk, and the demonization of the sick and poor turn on the same logic: your accident of birth makes you subhuman.
By Erin Kissane

The rise of no-till farming in the U.S. has cut as much CO2 as taking 50 million cars off the road for a year.
By bradplumer

"Following through with" is not the same as "doubling down on." This has been a public service announcement.
By Josh Greenman

So many apologies over a website launch. Haven't hear anything over the launch of a baseless trillion dollar war which killed our economy.
By DC Debbie

What idiot called them creationists instead of primate change deniers?
By Daniel Douglas

I just found out that George and Jane Jetson were supposed to be 41 and 34 respectively and now I can't get out of bed.
By Julieanne Smolinski

I recently heard someone on the radio talk about "cat pawing" around an issue, presumably to avoid saying pussyfoot. Is this really a thing?
By Stacey Burns

People in the top 10% have an obligation to pursue #degrowth, not just change energy sources.
By Free Public Transit

Beaver marketing campaign slogan "UnbelBEAVERable!" sound like it thought of by bunch of idiots that live in mud hut in middle of pond.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

Instead of the Lesser of Two Evils, Vote for Both #rejectedrcvslogans [ranked choice voting, new in Minnesota]
By Chris Steller

DOG COSTUME INDUSTRY: You don’t need to design any new costumes. You will never top this:

 
By Lee Unkrich

No one on earth wants to click through a slide show instead of seeing things all on one page. NO ONE.
By snipy

Only one death in the line of duty in 12 years seems to suggest not arming TSA agents is working pretty well.
By Josh Barro

It took me until the last line to realise it was the room service breakfast menu, not a song about cereal:

 
By Monkeydog

Imagine a country where the goal was to provide the best health care possible to the most citizens, instead of scoring partisan points.
By stevesilberman

If only all the time the media has wasted discussing glitches of healthcare.gov were spent arguing why we need a single-payer system.
By Nikhil Goyal

The longer it takes to scroll to your birth year on the web form, the less likely the site is for you.
By Ryan Freitas

Subtle, brilliant sticker/graffiti work on the 177 bus. This'll be there for ages....

 
By James Kennell

Just one inch. Air passenger sleep quality improves by 53% in 18 inch vs a 17 inch seat.
By Alan N.

Goes 5 yrs + $10 billion over budget on defense contract: "Hey these things happen." Needs 1 month to fix healthcare site: "Shut it Down!"
By lawblob

Looking forward to the congressional hearing for all those insurance cancellation letters people will get when they repeal the ACA.
By Aaron E. Carroll 

You can put a man on the moon but you can't make him drink.
By Chris Steller



2 comments:

troutbirder said...

Fascinating....:)

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

So many great ones. But the dog costume made me laugh out loud. I needed that!