Twitter Marches on

March is over, and I've been doing these Twitter compendiums for a year. Not sure if anyone else enjoys them, but I find them amusing and a nice reminder of the topics that flowed past my attention in the previous month.

'Millennial' – the term that no one of that generation actually uses to define themselves.
By Michael Crowe

Harvard's top five hedge fund managers made almost as much as the 450 College of Arts and Science professors in 2004.
By Nikhil Goyal

Just got a very detailed description of what happened to ladies with UTIs before antibiotics. I think my bladder is puckered in fear.
By Maggie Koerth-Baker

Weird bit: There was big risk of dying from UTI back then, but if you survived, almost no recurrence. Body figured out how to beat bacteria
By Maggie Koerth-Baker

So you could have that small comfort while you were peeing blood and your doctor was trying to stuff turpentine up your urethra.
By Maggie Koerth-Baker

Some people have a hard time with Nina Totenberg. I could listen to her all day but 2 minutes of Frank DeFord & I wonder if ears are worth it.
By Chris Steller

Consider wearing camouflage clothing: it is a well-known fact that rapists don't rape what they can't see. #safetytipsforwomen
By Hahahamdi

HULK SUPPORT QUEER AND FEMINIST CHALLENGES TO MARRIAGE AS INSTITUTION. HULK ALSO CHAMPION SAME-SEX MARRIAGE. HULK VAST, CONTAIN MULTITUDES.
By FEMINIST HULK

Idea: There should be one magazine for people who aren't interested in famous people.
By Chris Steller

97 percent of infractions in school that resulted in suspension involved no weapons, no drugs, and no alcohol. #WarOnKids
By Nikhil Goyal

Sunday Advice time: avoid the argument "X is like a religion" where x = a non-theistic system. It's a tedious, overused fallacious analogy.
By Tim Minchin

If the county instituted more #freetransit, many infrastructure projects would go away. In the end, it would be cheaper.
By Jane Walker

Why does "reform" mean cutting arts, physical education but more testing, more administrators, more consultants?
By Diane Ravitch

The "Bad Teacher" joins the "Welfare Queen" as the persona the public most likes to hate while their rights are taken away.
By Mark Naison

With each day, my love and appreciation grows for the short, declarative sentence.
By Andy Kroll

Colloquial is one of those words that's not what it means.
By Chris Steller


Wanna feel invisible? Spend the day walking around Harlem w/ @HenryLouisGates. At best people thought I was security.
By W. Kamau Bell

Am I the only one who thinks "a special place in hell" sounds like it'd be nicer than just plain old regular hell?
By Tim Carvell

12 yr old, as we pass a bus bench: "Dad, what's an urban luxury specialist?"
By Chris Steller

My daughter (5) upon seeing a few minutes of the new Hobbit movie: "Why aren't there any girls in this movie?" #raisedonmiyazaki
By John Siracusa


This is so true. It actually hurts.
By Hannah

Occam's razor: now with FIVE BLADES and aloe strip.
By Pinboard

Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.
By Anil Dash

Most who fear genetically altered food are unaware that nearly all food has been genetically altered via artificial selection.
By Neil deGrasse Tyson

As Dr King said, I have a dream that some day all injustices that personally impact members of my immediate family will be resolved.
By mattyglesias

#degrowth advocates are called extreme today. But it is already happening. We just want less pain. Future will see us as moderates.
By Free Public Transit

Rob Portman: A conservative who has been mugged by morality
By John Cook


I don't know why people get confused, it's very simple...
By Zaphod Zoeller

It's illegal to shine a laser pointer at a plane because a cat might attack the plane.
By Scott

Throughout history, more women have died in childbirth than men have died in battle.
By Harvard University

A meaningless statistic is cited every 5.6 seconds.
By Chris Steller

RT @lawremipsum: Are Travelers Checks still a thing? > No, the companies moved on to payday loans, international wires & other usury.
By Charlie Quimby

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.
By Tracey - Facts -

Reading Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death, struck by this: until Lincoln, every president could walk down the street anonymously.
By Kurt Andersen

There is no such thing as "only an asshole online." What you mean is you're an asshole all the time but are also scared of getting beat up.
By Emma Story

The first rule of SXSW is: you always talk about SXSW.
By Aaron Levie

Between the time it was discovered and the time it was unclassified as a planet, Pluto did not even complete one revolution around the sun.
By Science Porn

Haha they made a handheld device that contains all human knowledge and now we make fun of each other for looking at it too much.
By David Thorpe

"I don't like water because I'm a fan of taste."
By Preschool Gems

There is a warehouse with all the Ts from people saying "Wha?" There is a faraway planet where people are sent who use the term "Squee!"
By Chris Steller

Know why standardized testing isn't a good measure of schools? Sometimes a 3rd grader farts in the middle of the test, and all bets are off.
By evelyn pollins

You only live once, so don't forget to spend 15 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers.
By Chris Rock

If only graphic designers cared half as much about software and font piracy as they do about spec work.
By Okay Type

I'm more concerned about Scalia Law than Sharia Law.
By Just Some Jerk

If a TED talk "restored your faith in humankind," consider stepping away from the internet & interacting with actual humankind more often.
By Xeni Jardin


Mmmmghghhmmmmfffmmmmrghhmmmff
By Emergency Cute Stuff

Waiting for your turn to talk is not the same as listening.
By Mike Monteiro

"So does the Pope's son take over today?" my son asked, perhaps not understanding some of the nuances of Catholicism.
By Greg Knauss

Corporations aren’t people, they’re more like a hostile, sentient AI.
By Andy Baio

Someday just sit down, watch, and listen to a highway. Ask yourself, is this really an achievement of which we should be proud?
By Free Public Transit

Evernote password reset. Check. Lingering feeling that cloud-based services for private data might be a bad idea. Check.
By Jonathan Foley

Might look like I am just standing here doing nothing, but really am trying to do front flip and back flip at same time.
By Bigfoot TheBigfoot

NYC is a miracle of PR. What's so good about somewhere that doesn't sleep? For that matter, what's wrong with a normal-sized apple?
By Tim Minchin

O'Brien is now leaving "Downton Abbey." In keeping with the show's tradition of narrative plausibility, she will die in an ape attack.
By Tim Carvell