Friday, March 11, 2011

Ripped from the Headlines

Some recent news heads had me chuckling, for one reason or another.

Pioneer Press story: Bachmann Backs Choice in Lightbulbs
I imagine the Pioneer Press writer who came up with this gem was laughing at least until the shift ended, imagining the readers and their double takes. Like me.

What?! I thought for a split second, and then finished reading the line. Of course. Michelle thinks we need choice, but only when it comes to using energy-wasting light bulbs.

Star Tribune headline from business section: No place for Ronald McDonald as chain touts lattes
This Star Tribune business section headline puzzled me for a second. I confess that, perhaps in a fit of Arabic influence, I saw the right side of the sentence first and thought it was in French. Chain touts lattes... something about all the lattes? Then I read the whole thing and figured it out.

It reminds me how much I dislike the verb "touts." There was a brag column in a newsletter I used to see called "Toots and Touts." Yuck. Maybe that's what caused my antipathy.

Star Tribune headline about trial: Man accused of sexual assault by 5 women takes stand
And finally, there's this bizarre headline from a recent rape trial. The creep was just found guilty, but this Star Tribune headline almost made it sound as though the five women assaulted him.

Pioneer Press headline about trial: Defendant in multiple rapes takes the stand
The Pioneer Press headline was much more straightforward and successful. Memo to the Strib: Don't try to do too much.

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