Ripped from the Headlines

Some recent news heads had me chuckling, for one reason or another.


I imagine the Pioneer Press writer who came up with this gem was laughing at least until the shift ended, imagining the readers and their double takes. Like me.

What?! I thought for a split second, and then finished reading the line. Of course. Michelle thinks we need choice, but only when it comes to using energy-wasting light bulbs.


This Star Tribune business section headline puzzled me for a second. I confess that, perhaps in a fit of Arabic influence, I saw the right side of the sentence first and thought it was in French. Chain touts lattes... something about all the lattes? Then I read the whole thing and figured it out.

It reminds me how much I dislike the verb "touts." There was a brag column in a newsletter I used to see called "Toots and Touts." Yuck. Maybe that's what caused my antipathy.


And finally, there's this bizarre headline from a recent rape trial. The creep was just found guilty, but this Star Tribune headline almost made it sound as though the five women assaulted him.


The Pioneer Press headline was much more straightforward and successful. Memo to the Strib: Don't try to do too much.