Check out this sentence, from a question recently fielded in the Outside Consultant column in the Star Tribune's business section:
I design and sell inspirational jewelry for mothers and women battling weight loss, infertility and cancer on my website.
I believe that's what's called a dangling modifier. (Unless the writer's website includes a new web app with startling medicinal powers.)
And according to my recollection of set theory and knowledge of human genders, I think the set "women" includes the set "mothers."
No, wait a minute, it's worse than I thought. I just checked the questioner's website and now realize she meant that the jewelry is for mothers generally and also for women battling the aforementioned conditions. I didn't get that from the sentence at all.
Are there any editors left at the Strib?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
How Bad Can One Sentence Be?
Posted at 3:33 PM
Categories: Honey--Get Me Rewrite
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2 comments:
Wow. That is pretty bad. I'm with you in that I didn't get that from her sentence at all.
can you edit the writings of my graduate students?
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